Few things in life are as misunderstood as BDSM. The sex practice is often accused of being physically or mentally harmful, something that only survivors of abuse embrace, or abnormally kinky. But it's important for beginners to understand that it’s actually none of those things. This is also known as ‘orgasm denial’ or ‘orgasm control’ and is when a person is kept in an intense state of arousal for a prolonged period of time. In this way, one person has full control over their partner’s orgasm. How to Add Erotic Sexual Denial into Play Time Surprisingly, you may have already added a few BDSM aspects into your bedroom without even knowing it! This could be when one partner pins the other down, bites or scratches skin, or pulls their partner’s hair. This one might have to wait until the vaccine comes in, because if you’re into watching people getting down and dirty you might considder going to a sex club. The person who holds the key to the chastity device (the dom) is then responsible for the wearer’s orgasm, giving the dom full control over their sub’s pleasure. The dominant is thus the only person who can give the wearer permission to be pleasured or to pleasure (to the point of climax).

Unfortunately, until the pandemic is in the past, the only way to have a threesome is to commit to having that person in your social bubble. When it comes to sex, setting the mood is important, especially when in a long-term relationship. It can be easy to forget about sex when jobs, kids, housework etc. occupy a lot of your time. Setting the mood is something that should be part of foreplay or build-up to the actual time together. If you have a trunk or ottoman at the end of your bed which happens to have ring handles on either side, you could easily turn this into a simple restraint system or DIY spanking bench for you and your partner to enjoy.Unless you’ve pre-discussed trying this in the bedroom, the best way to start off would be to lightly massage your partner’s butt, giving it gentle caresses. Then add in a pinch or two, to gauge the reaction. If you find your partner to be into it, go ahead and give them a light spanking or two. Smut Drop is a weekly podcast with host Miranda Kane from Metro.co.uk, touching on sex, dating and relationships. Shibari is not inherently sexual,” explains Sydona, a Shibari artist and instructor; some people use it as a form of meditation or as a tool to feel intimate with a partner. However, Shibari can be sexual if you so choose. You can tie your partner up, and the two of you can go at it for hours in various positions. This piece is focused on all the fun, kinky sex you can have when either you or your partner is bound. But what is life (and sex) like for a woman who is firmly entrenched in the BDSM community as a submissive? Well, according to one sub called Monieau, it’s far from what misconceptions and stereotypes would lead outsiders to believe. Power play exists in every relationship even if you aren't engaging in kinky sex, but it can really ramp things up in the bedroom. In BDSM circles power play refers to the practice of dominance and submission and requires advanced levels of communication, trust and intimacy to succeed, so think of it as the ultimate sex game starting in the mind. A good place to start is the good old fashioned servant and master routine, so surrender completely to your lover (or vice versa) and pander to their every whim for an incredibly intimate, powerful and sexy time. 24. Fetish

Because BDSM typically involves surrendering control, trust and communication is everything. It's extremely important that you're as specific as possible with your partner about what you want and don't want, as they should be with you. For example, let them know if the idea of being blindfolded excites you but having your hands cuffed makes you anxious. Similarly, hear them out if they tell you they never want to be in a submissive role.The conversation you have after the experience is just as much a part of sex as the acts themselves,” says Richmond. This conversation is a chance to debrief by asking your partner(s) about what they enjoyed most and what they were thinking when you, say, lightly spanked them.

Have other bedroom bondage ideas? Share your tips for bondage fun with others in the Fetish.com forum. If you’re curious but a bit tentative, try starting off with some light spanking and hair pulling. Oil up A chastity device can be worn by both men and women, and can be used only during play time or for prolonged periods of time. Spanking & Flogging Additionally, the study adds that playing with interpersonal power through the exchange of power via physical restraint is one of the most common reasons people engage in bondage practices. Others note that they may compare bondage to an eroticized way of practicing mindfulness, similar to meditation or other general leisure activities, as it allows them to relax and practice a form of focused attention.So, instead of offering hardcore BDSM tips that may make the more vanilla solo or couple feel completely out of their depth, we have a few cheeky suggestions that’ll add only a sprinkle of spice to an already-piping hot sex life. Everyone has different limits and boundaries, and it’s important to respect that. Follow our 6 tips to make sure kinky sex is a safe, positive experience for everyone involved: When approaching your partner about trying out bondage, you don’t need to be coy or apologetic about it. Simply start off by telling your partner you think bondage is interesting and that you’d be curious to try it with them specifically, says Brame. If they haven’t explored this type of play in the past, they might have some questions. So after stating your interest, spend some time researching bondage together, so you can tailor the details of your sexperimentation to your mutual desires, Brame suggests. A lot of people that engage in kink actually find they are dominant in their everyday lives, while in scenes they prefer to take a submissive role and give their dominant side a rest,” says Frye-Nekrasova. Additionally, using restraints may produce a feeling of sensory deprivation. This may help to not only increase a person’s excitement, but enhance the sensation of the remaining senses, which can heighten pleasure. Builds deeper connections